It may come as some surprise to you that in my formative years I was quite an avid East 17 fan. I didn't have dog stickers all over my bedroom door or buy socks to stuff my beanie with, but I was down with the Walthamstow groove and not afraid to show it. As time passed however, I gradually began to lose interest in the boys. Some might argue that it's simply something you grow out of, like bed-wetting or football.. But in all fairness, their last album really wasn't much chop.

One night around three years back I started to reminisce about the glory days, and decided to create a chain letter protesting their untimely demise. I forwarded it to everyone in my address book, and asked that anyone who shared my view add his or her name and address to the list. I heard nothing back, and as the days went on, I began to feel that my pleas had fallen on deaf ears. But yesterday, with thanks to an anonymous tipster, I received the news that all of us have been waiting so long to hear:


East 17 comeback gig - May 30, 2006!


Former East 17 star Tony Mortimer insists pop rival Robbie Williams would never have lasted in his boy band - because they were too hardcore. Mortimer, who will perform a comeback gig with his East 17 band mates in London on 30 May (06), claims the group's outrageous rock 'n roll lifestyle would have been too much for their tamer 1990's rivals Take That. He reveals his frantic years in the band had a severe effect on both his mental and physical health. He says, "Robbie and the other Take That boys would not have lasted five minutes in East 17 - it was so full on that we nearly didn't make it. We killed off boy bands. But East 17 almost destroyed me. Three years of working seven days a week and not knowing where you are and what day it is takes its toll. At the end I was anorexic. I was over 6 foot tall and weighed nine stone. East 17 almost ruined me, which is why I kept saying no to reuniting. Towards the end I hid away after gigs and when the band split up I became really agoraphobic. If you walk out of the house every day and hundreds of people mob you it has a mental effect."

(taken from Contactmusic.com)

Heartfelt words, and a timely reminder that even the most glamorous stardom has its down sides. But, there you have it. In a little over two weeks, the planets will align, and East 17 will perform the come-back gig to end all come-back gigs. Anyone who doubted the legitimacy of their bad boy image must be feeling pretty sheepish right now.. And despite the fact that the rather clean cut picture above doesn't match the golden days of...



... I have no doubt that the attitude is still there. I don't want to get all nostalgic on you here, but really, if Peter Andre can re-launch his career with a song he'd already released 8 years earlier, I feel that this reunion is long overdue. And with some water under the bridge, perhaps they'll finally let us in on what was meant by the rather cryptic comments one can hear when you play "It's Alright" backwards*.

Disregarding the possibility that my e-mail actually had nothing to do with this concert, I think there's a nice little moral here. I wonder which long lost nineties hit machine I should set my sights on next.. La Bouche? The Rednex? MC Sar and The Real McCoy? So many choices. But before I go making any waves, I might just wait and see how this caper plays out. For all we know, it could be a huge let down. I can just see the clip to the 2006 remix of 'House of Love' with Snoop Dogg shakin' his booty across my TV screen. "Every bizzle in the hizzle.." Urgh... There's a good chance it could end badly.

But, it poses an interesting question: If you could see any defunct pop iconoclast re-animated, who would you choose?

* Don't ask how I came to discover this, but if you play the bridge to "It's Alright" in reverse, you hear something that sounds like "Forget the things he used to say, he will never leave us." Seriously.