TRUE LOVE

Well, it had to come to this eventually. Over the past two years I've posted (albeit infrequently) about all manner of things on this blog.. Ranging from paranoid theories about the secret life of the Veronicas, right through to tourism campaigns for the wonderful suburb of Dandenong. Up to this point I seem to have side-stepped posting about anything profound, or at least anything topical.. But I've been doing some thinking lately.


Love is a concept which is thrust upon from the very moment we're born. Generally speaking, the first sight we see when we come down the chute is likely to be an enamoured couple, staring deeply into each others eyes, proclaiming their boundless affection for one another. Well.. One of them would probably be crying from pain and exhaustion, while the other tries in vein to distract her from the large amounts of blood covering the sheets.. But you get the gist. Once all the mess is cleaned up, it's time for an onslaught of love and cuteness that would make you ill if you were old enough to know what was going on.

As you mature, you begin to realize the whole thing spreads much further than the bassinet.. It's on TV, at the movies, on the radio.. Attacking you from every angle, planting seeds in your head about co-dependence and microwave ovens. In essence, by the time you reach the age where you can think for yourself, you've pretty much nutted out that your main goal on this planet is to find yourself a nice girl or boy, and move in for the kill. Or approach them politely.. Depending on your disposition.

The problem with this whole love cabal though, is that once you pass your days of high school romance, you discover it's a lot more complex than the Meg Ryan movies make it out to be. Why did that chick who told you that she loved you run off with your best friend? Why is that guy with the nervous twitch constantly staring at you? What's the deal with this rash? Perhaps these aren't the best examples, but you know what I'm getting at. There aren't any knights in shining armour, people don't travel half-way around the world to find each other, and the soundtrack isn't Leonardo's Bride. True love, in the Hollywood sense at least, is far more elusive than we were first lead to believe.

Fortunately I've had a pretty good run up to this point in time. There have been several meaningful and lasting relationships in my life, the majority of which ended on amicable terms. No unwanted pregnancies, no domestic abuse, not even any adultery.. To my knowledge. This past year, though, has been slightly more interesting.. And on numerous occasions it's kinda left me scratching my head, wondering what the fuck is going on. On a case by case basis, they were mostly quite trivial incidents.. But these things have a way of building up in your mind after a while. So, if you'd care to indulge me (whoever you might be), allow me to fire a few questions in your general direction..

1. Is it reasonable for a girl to make out with you wildly at a party, volunteer to give you her number, insist on meeting up, and then feign an air of vague bemusement when you actually decide to do so?

2. I don't believe in God or anything, but is it some kind of cruel, divine irony that the qualities which initially attract us to someone might be the very qualities which end up driving us away?

3. What's the deal with these people who will madly wave their flag of intent, but as soon as you let one idle comment drop about 'possibilities' they run for the hills ranting about confusion and mixed messages?

4. Why is it that it might take two weeks to get over one person, but the best part of a year leaves your feelings for somebody else virtually unchanged?

I'm well aware that we place way too much emphasis on relationships in our society (see this indignant rant), but even whilst bearing that in mind, I've found myself at the emotional mercy of others more times this year than I'd care to admit. Sometimes the feeling lasts only a day or two, whilst in other cases it never really seems to go away. I know that I have the inclination to over think things a little bit, but even with the brain switched off, it's hard to maintain a positive attitude when over-viewing a series of such perplexing events.

Whether our inclination for romance is a product of our experiences, or something far more innate is anyone's guess.. In reality, it's probably a combination of the two. But at the end of it all, I just can't help but wonder - if we weren't so presupposed to the notion of true love, would we be less surprised when things go ass-up? If there were no heights to aspire to or situations to act out, we'd have no expectations - and there's a good chance we'd all be enjoying slightly more buoyant existences. I realize that nobody grows through being deliriously happy, and it's our less pleasurable experiences that ultimately push us to develop and discover more about ourselves.. But every now and then it's nice to just sit a game out.

And as far as the coming year goes, I'm starting to think that might be just what I need.